alicornparty | GO GO TEST DRIVE MEME

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*test meme

GO GO TEST DRIVE MEME

TEST DRIVE MEME

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♥ Quick, jump for the cake, Pinkie!!

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Desco floats alongside Trixie for a few seconds, staring silently before coming to a conclusion.

"Oh! Desco recognizes that tone of voice! Regret, and disdain, and impatience...you must be dating Zetta!"

With that, she lands and begins bouncing around Trixie in a circle.

"Ah! In that case, Desco will make sure not to kill you, okay? She doesn't want to prevent Petta from being born!"

Trixie whips her head around to the pony following her.

"WHAT!? No! No, no, no, no, no! I'm not that stupid!"

Desco sits down and allows the eyes set on her ribcage to stare at Trixie.

"Oh, is he in one of his moods again? Don't worry! He's a tsundere, so he'll be over it soon!"

There's a slight pause as several of Desco's golden eyes blink, nictitating membranes closing shut over them.

"All this romantic advice is making Desco hungry. Can you give her some candy?"

"Zetta isn't worthy of Trixie! He's insane, he tries way too hard to be evil, he's not even intelligent enough for my tastes! Trixie cares not whether or not that lunatic is in one of his moods, She doesn't find any part of him good enough for Trixie!"

Trixie prods a hoof into the other pony's chest, glaring at the eyes attached to her head.

"So make not the mistake of assuming you know what romantic tastes Trixie has forevermore! It is incredibly insulting to do otherwise."

The golden eyes set on Desco's chest roll around, staring at the point where Trixie's hoof met Desco's flesh. Desco's grin loses whatever quality of excitement and happiness it had before, simply becoming quite a lot of sharp teeth being bared, while her tentacles go very still, all of them orienting on Trixie. When she speaks, her voice isn't bubbly or manic but very, very even.

"Desco thinks it would be very, very smart of you to apologize for invading her personal space."

Trixie raises an eyebrow. She sets her hoof on the ground.

"It appears you don't like being touched. 'Tis the very same way Trixie cares not for being associated with Zetta in that way. Thus, an impasse has been reached."

Trixie then smirks arrogantly.

"But fear not! Trixie herself has already reached a solution. She shall apologize... but bot before you say the following words: Trixie is not in a relationship with Zetta."

Eyes narrowed - all of them - Desco speaks three words.

"Final Boss Arises."

Her two primary tentacles bulge and split open into gaping maws, discharging a pair of massive beams that just barely pass by either side of Trixie - assuming she doesn't move, of course - and smashing apart a building.

"The Final Boss Does. Not. Compromise."

Trixie didn't expect this at all. She stares at the damage wide-eyed for a few seconds, then looks back at the clearly deranged pony. Then she sits down and starts massaging her head with a hoof. She can feel a headache coming on.

"...What did I do to deserve two of them...?"

Desco blinks a little.

"Oh! Oh! Desco knows this one!"

She raises one hoof in the air and points dramatically.

"Ahem...Blame the caprice of your uncaring gods, foolish mortal! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Setting her hoof back down, Desco stares at Trixie with sparkling eyes and wagging tail.

"How was that?! Did Desco properly convey the existential terror of living only at the whim of an impersonal universe?"

At this, Trixie looks up. She has her scroll with her, so she can definitely contact one of the princesses at this point.

"...Trixie will allow her generous heart to inform you that she is able to contact Princess Celestia and both Princess Lunas at this very moment so that you may be able to see just how 'uncaring' they really are."

SHINY EYES OF HAPPINESS

"Yaaay! Desco hasn't fought any gods in a while!"

"Wha- Trixie didn't say anything about fighting them!"

"Then why would you contact them? Desco can't follow your logic at all. Be more sensible!"

/irony

"...I am being sensible! I choose to try and show you them in order to show you what they're like and how caring the princesses are, yet your first thought is battle against them! You're just as insane as Zetta!"

"Hey! Desco is not crazy! As the Final Boss, she operates on a higher level than you mere mortals! It's not her fault your feeble minds can't grasp how amazing she really is!"

A slight pause.

"And why is Desco a pony suddenly?!"

...it only just now occurred to her to ask?

Trixie blinks. Ugh... She should just go hide somewhere where all the crazy outsiders would never look just so she can escape their insanity.

"...It only occurred to you now to ask that? Why should I even tell you?"

Yeah, she's annoyed enough to not speak in third-pony.

"Desco thought you were an ordinary know-nothing before, but if you can call up the gods then you must be a priest, right? So you must know why Desco is a pony!"

She nods, very self-satisfied.

"This is the unassailable logic of the Final Boss!"

Allow Trixie to assail that logic with just four words!

"Everypony gets a scroll."

GASP

"Ahhh! Has Desco stumbled on the legendary all-priest enclave?"

She pauses in her histrionics as a thought occurs to her.

"...wait, if you're all priest-type characters, then you must be SUPER squishy!"

Her tentacles begin snapping in excitement.

"Yaay! Desco has found a legendary grinding map!"

"I'm a showmare. I entertain with magic tricks and stories. Even you can get a scroll. And guess what else? Fighting is highly discouraged in this world. it assuming that everything here is here to just fight you. Because that is exactly why you're crazy. Just like Zetta."

"Hey! Desco is not crazy!"

A slight pause.

"...she will allow that Zetta is crazy, though."

"If you're not crazy, then prove it to me! So far, your track record isn't looking good at all."

"Desco is a perfectly logical and straightforward bloodthirsty demon! It's not her fault your feeble mortal brains can't perceive how magnificent her heinous evil is!"

Glaring up at Trixie.

"Desco is the Queen of Evil Deeds, you know! She's the number one jaywalker in all of Hades! And sometimes, she even steals lunches!"

Trixie stares for a few seconds with a flat face.

"...Right. You're crazy."

Trixie turns and walks away again.

Desco picks up her front hooves. Then she picks up her back hooves. And then she just floats after Trixie.

"Well, you still haven't answered Desco's question!"

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