Test Drive Meme the Third!

[ponymeisters]

TEST DRIVE MEME

♥ Comment in with your characters's name, canon, and universe. Or, comment to others who have posted. ♥ Your characters are now in Equestria. They are also ponies, or creatures of Equestria at the very least. ♥ For those who desire to design themselves a pony for reference, here is a FiM Pony Creator to help out. ♥ The scenario can be anything you want, so long as it takes place in Equestria. ♥ Come on in, characters already in the game! Let's help out potential newcomers! ♥ These test threads can be used for application samples. Commentspam or prose is fine. ♥ Quick, jump for the apples, Apple Bloom!

Comments

Crazy Redd | Animal Crossing

[cash_is_freedom]

[As you approach the tent, a voice calls out.]

Woah, woah, woah! I can't just go around letting just any old person into my tent! You need to be one of my cousins! So... When I say "The pen is mightier", you say...

Re: Crazy Redd | Animal Crossing

[caneattheseapples]

I say fuck you I can't go in this tent!

[Yeah. You bet Jappleack is now going to charge the entrance of the tent to try and enter.]

1/3

[cash_is_freedom]

[A brown pegasus greets you just as Jappleack enters the tent. He's grinning, and his face is MERE MILLIMETERS away from hers.]

I didn't say you could enter... yet. Do you know what that is? Breaking and entering! To me, what you're doing right now is a little...

[cash_is_freedom]

CRAAAAAAAAZY!

[cash_is_freedom]

Now get out before I'm forced to call the guards. Got a business to run here, lady...

1/3

[caneattheseapples]

You know what I think about what you think? I think you can-

2/3

[caneattheseapples]

[JESUS CHRIST!]

[caneattheseapples]

[Okay. That was kind of weird. And freaky. But Jappleack's not going to let that bother her. She made it into this crazy asshole's tent and she doesn't intend to leave now.

Instead, she'll have a look around.]

Yeah? What is it you even do here? I mean are you some kinda crazy hobo that cuts others up and sells them as a stew, or what?

[cash_is_freedom]

[Redd leans in just a little bit closer, blocking Jappleack's view from anything she wants to see.]

I only do business to members of my special family. You are not one of them. You are rude!

[caneattheseapples]

You're the one who's rude, asshole! You set up a shop and then don't let anyone shop? That's no way to run a business.

[Yeah, she's still trying to get past Redd and see what he's selling. Fuck you weird pegasus, you're not stopping Jappleack.]

[cash_is_freedom]

My products are not to be touched by thieves!

Help! Guards! Thief! Thief!

[Why, yes, he's yelling that into your face, Jappleack.]

[callmeyork]

[Huh. This is interesting. All of the makings of a huckster's wares tent, with none of the attempts at credibility. Amazing.

Well, worth giving a shot. The obvious answer would probably be no good, so to think like a con man...]

Zach, do you have any ideas on how to finish this one? It can't be the old parable, so maybe... "And cheaper".

1/3

[cash_is_freedom]

[The tent flaps seem to part all on their own, as if the tent itself is allowing him in. The first thing York would see upon entering is a brown pegasus face with it's eyes squinted close. The second thing, if he were to look beyond that, would be various paintings and exotic wares.]

Well, well, well! It seems you're trustworthy enough! Wellcome to ol' Crazy Redd's Crazy Wares, where the prices are so cheap, they're practically...

2/3

[cash_is_freedom]

CRAAAAAAAAAZY!

3/3

[cash_is_freedom]

But you're a face I haven't ever seen before! You see, we here at Crazy Red have a creed we stick by, and it's family!

[Crazy Redd sidles next to York and wraps an arm around him.]

But not just anyone is in ol' Crazy Redd's family of cousins! I'm willing to offer you the chance with a low, low one-time price of 10,000 bits!

[callmeyork]

[Unfazed. Totally unfazed through all of that, even as he's taking in the paintings and sculptures and whatnot.]

So you're Redd himself, huh? Pleasure to meet you, I suppose. FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan. Please, call me York. It's what everyone calls me. [And as he says that, he fumbles around his chest for something, but can't quite seem to get into his suit.] ... I'll... get the badge later.

And you're right, I am new to the area... and as such, a little too broke to be able to afford anything at such a price. At least, not until I find a currency exchange around here.

[cash_is_freedom]

[FBI? Oh CRAP. Before York gets a chance to look at anything more, Redd goes to hastily push him out of the tent.]

Why, that's a wonderful idea! You go look for a nice currency exchange while ol' Crazy Redd here waits for you! Can't have you snooping around my business...

[callmeyork]

[That's the reaction he expected. He's pushing back, trying to stay in and take a look around.]

Relax, Redd, I'm not on duty here. Besides, I'm in Homicide and Investigation, not Financial. This sort of thing? Not my jurisdiction. Unless, you know, somebody was killed in here. Then you can expect a more official visit from me.

But really, I'm just curious about the local scene, so... can you blame me for wanting a better view?

[cash_is_freedom]

[Crazy Redd pauses to think about this, still blocking York's view of anything. ...He's really not too sure about this guy. He IS on the side of law, after all...]

...Ol' Crazy Redd isn't too sure that you aren't lying, bub!

[callmeyork]

[A little bit more digging, and... aha! York procures and displays his badge... which is clearly for the "Canterlot Royal Investigation Bureau", or CRIB. What an acronym. There's him as a pony, Special Agent, Homicide division. Get a good look at it, Redd, because he's going to turn it around to look at it himself.]

What in the... alright, y'know, I shouldn't be surprised. Really, really shouldn't.

1/3

[cash_is_freedom]

...Well, I'll be!

[Redd relents. His eyes are still squinted closed. How can he see?]

You had ol' Crazy Redd here in for quite a scare for a second! It was a shocking situation for me! You could even go as far to say that it was...

2/3

[cash_is_freedom]

CRAAAAAAAAAZY!

3/3

[cash_is_freedom]

...You can look, but not touch. Or tell.

[York can see various items and paintings. A sword comprised out of 14 oddly-shaped jewels. A red amulet. A golden necklace with a red lightning-shaped gem. A very modern-looking lamp.

As for the paintings... they're all expertly painted. York might be able to tell most of them to be fakes if he has a keen enough eye. AND a good grasp on famous paintings in Equestria.]

[pointedlove]

I say "you're not particularly wanted around". Of all the people to show up here with...

[Yes, that earth pony seems a little prickly, in more than one way. Why couldn't it have been Tom, or Mabel?]

[cash_is_freedom]

Then you're not wanted around here, either. Beat it.