mistletoe meme

[alephbet]

 Oh no, mistletoe!

 

SHOOT. Who put that there?! Well, you’re caught - pucker up!

How to Play

1. Post your character and canon in the subject line
2. Next person who responds is the one you’re caught under the mistletoe with!
3. Go as awkward, sweet, or embarrassing as you like! (Quick cheek peck? Full French? Sure! But you have to kiss or the Nargles will get you!)
4. Comment, Tag, and catch others under the mistletoe. Have fun

Stolen from Animus who stole from Ruby City. 

Comments

Jappleack | .MOV and Ask Jappleack

[caneattheseapples]

[angry_jerk]

...This is not happening.

[caneattheseapples]

[No.

No.

Good Lord no.

This can't be happening. This is, somehow, worse than so much she's gone through. This can't be possible.]

Yeah, you're damn right it's not happening.

Get out of here. Just walk away so we don't have to do this crap.

[angry_jerk]

Not yet.

[He glares up at the accused plant.]

WE HAVE TO DESROY THE EVIDENCE.

[caneattheseapples]

You know what?

You're right.

Usually I'd say you're stupid and paranoid and that it smells like you ate a pound of cat litter but no one can know about this.

[angry_jerk]

Normally, I'd deck your stupid horse face for that comment.

BUT WE'VE GOT BIGGER FISH TO FRY.

[Then he starts angrily hopping up and down, trying to grab the infernal thing.]

[caneattheseapples]

[Jappleack lets Dan just hop up and down in frantic anger for a minute or two because holy shit if that isn't funny. After that it goes on a bit long and she rolls her eyes.]

Slow down dumbass. Think of this logically. Here. Get on my back and grab it.

[It hurts her to even suggest Dan touch her, let alone stand on her back to reach.

But this must be done.]

[angry_jerk]

[He glares at her and starts mumbling bitterly... BUT this is more important.]

I'll logical your face with a hoe...

[He reluctantly spends a few minutes trying to get on her back. And failing repeatedly.]

[caneattheseapples]

Holy crap are you that stupid?

[She just wheels on Dan, nearly growling.]

What the hell is wrong with you! I'd think it'd be a treat for you to get to walk all over me! What, that not enough of an incentive, you ugly, stupid, winged dumbass who can't even

[Yeah. Give her a minute.

Your wings.]

Goddamn we're dumb.

[angry_jerk]

[He scoffs loudly.]

You mean you're dumb. And ugly and awful. I'm awesome!

[caneattheseapples]

[She just glares at you Dan. Glares daggers.

And then she is grabbing one of your wings and painfully pulling as close into being in front of you as she can.]

Just fly up there and get it, shitheel.

[angry_jerk]

[He flinches and whines in pain at the pulling because OW OW OW OW OW OW DAMN IT OW.]

Fine! Just shut up and let's get this over with!

[He stares at the the plant, the instigator of their suffering. It had to be destroyed, once and for all.

He keeps glaring at it.

Reaaaaallly taking his time to ramp up the hatred for it.

Stiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllll glaring.]

[caneattheseapples]

[Jappleack looks at the mistletoe. And smiles. Soon it will be gone. She won't have to stand here this unhygenic asshole and she can be on her way without having to worry about touching him, let alone kissing him.

After a minute and it's still there she turns back to him. Still smiling.]

You can't fly, can you?

[angry_jerk]

[NOT LOOKING AT THE JERK NOT MAKING EYE CONTACT KEEP STARING AT THE PLANT.]

Shut up.

[caneattheseapples]

Have you even tried?

[angry_jerk]

[He finally rounds on her.]

LOOK, I HAVE A VERY BUSY SCHEDULE!

[caneattheseapples]

Well.

Learn now.

Look. Your wings are like the one advantage you have over most others. It's not like you're going anywhere until you get that piece of shit down, so you might as well try.

[angry_jerk]

[He grinds his teeth against each other.]

WELL I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY MOVE IN THE FIRST PLACE! SO THAT'S A PROBLEM!

[caneattheseapples]

What? Like it feels like nothing here?

[She pokes at one of his wings for shits and giggles.]

Hell if I know how they move. Think of them like hands or something. Imagine the air is an asshole and you want to punch his face in but can't use your hooves. Try something instead of just giving up when something's hard at first.

[angry_jerk]

[He actually pauses to think about it, grumbling when she pokes the wing. JERK.]

I don't know, feels like something. It flicks around every now and then?

[He takes another pause to imagining punching people in face, because that's actually a good mental picture. The wings sort of flap around a little, but he doesn't get off the ground.]

[caneattheseapples]

[Okay, that's a start. It's not getting him any further, but it's a start.]

Okay. I think you're underestimating just how much of an asshole the air is, and how much it deserves this. It-

Wait, what's that air?

You think Dan's a weasely little bitch and he'll never be able to fly? That's not fair air! He-

Damn. Dude, do you know what the air just said about your cat? It was vile.

[angry_jerk]

[YOU DID NOT.

He starts hopping up and down in rage, tearing at the ground, his wings flapping like crazy.]

FUCK YOU AIR I'LL TEAR OUT YOUR SPLEEN OR WHATEVER PASSES FOR THAT I DUNNO MOLECULES I'LL TEAR OUT YOUR MOLECULES.

[caneattheseapples]

Don't you get it?!

[Jappleack leans next to Dan, putting hoof over his shoulder as he starts hopping about. At first she was doing this because it'd be a good way to get this over with and because it was funny and partially because it was the only way she could think to inspire Dan but you know what?

Now that they've gotten here, she's genuinely angry too. Man. Fuck air.]

It's air that's been messing with you all along! You'd think it'd be gravity but who gives a shit about gravity when you could fly! It's just the air, hiding behind gravity and being a dick because it's a huge shithead! And you're letting him be a shithead by dissing your cat and your hygiene and your lack of life goals or profession!

Get up there! Get up there dammit and rip it's face off!

Kill him! KILL HIM!

[angry_jerk]

AIR, YOU SON OF A BITCH!

[His spasming and raging get more intense, his wings seem to be speeding up in their fluttering.

With an almighty scream, he suddenly jolts upward, knocking down the mistletoe, whamming his head, before falling to the ground.]