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Jesse Pinkman | Breaking Bad what am I even doing

[sacredcoinflip]

Yo!

[Okay, so not all of Ponyville's most recent batch of newcomers are all quiet and confused. Some are loud and obnoxious. Que this little scruffy adolescent cat. Who seems to have problems with the laws of walking. It's just like crawling on all fours except ten times harder.]


Is anyone gonna explain just what the filly just happened to me?!

Like--

...Jesus.

[Oh look, Pony world is censoring your cute cursing habit. Enjoy that.]

ur fault

[okayimin]

[ Heads up, Jesse-cat, there is a little palomino pegasus filly who's going to try really really hard not to land on you. She's still getting used to having wings. ]

Woah, look out below!!

I love when it's my fault

[sacredcoinflip]

[His perked up ears swivel (how are they doing that??) at the sound of the girl's voice, head whipping around both right and left. The momentum of turning that fast, however, causes him to dip over like a canoe, onto his back.


And...that's when he sees the pegasus coming towards him.]

Son of a biscuit!!


[All he can do is log roll and hope for the best at this point.]


YO. What's your issue?!

[okayimin]

[ A twist and some frantic flapping means Megan ends up in a bush rather than on top of the cat. ]

Sorry! Sorry, I'm still getting used to this. Firefly made it look a lot easier than it is.

[ Of course, getting out of a bush when you're not used to having hooves is unexpectedly difficult too. ]

Are you okay?

[sacredcoinflip]

[He inches closer to the bush, to get a better look at the pilot responsible. And upon seeing her...Give him a moment, because now that he's seen his very first pony, he's starting to get the hang of just what kind of world this is.]

Are you freakin' kidding me? I'm trapped in some kinda Hello Kitty tutu-wearin' voodoo theme park?


With--like...prancing PONIES?

[okayimin]

Well... yeah.

[ She's a straight forward kid. ]

It's not a theme park though. At least, I don't think it is. I've never been here before.

[toosmarttodie]

[How are all cats psychopaths. It's amazing. Even this one seemed screwed up. But at least Brainstorm had good combat footing if he had to fight this furry thing.

The little briefcase-carrying dragon bends down to quirk an eyebrow.]

You went to another dimension and now you're a horse. There you go.

[sacredcoinflip]

[The hairs on his neck immediately stand up, head tilting back almost out of instinct.]




...What.

[toosmarttodie]

I'm not repeating myself.

You heard me.

[sacredcoinflip]

No I got what you said, nerdiest-lizard-I-know.


Emphasize, bit-


[His mouth clamps shut after that. This is so much harder than it seems.]

Emphasize.

[toosmarttodie]

That's just pointless.

But hey, you're not the first this has happened to!

[thepoweroflove]

... "What the filly"?

[Man that loses all the impact of your statement, Jesse.

Also hi, here's a dragon not taking you seriously.]

[sacredcoinflip]

[You have no idea. He's not enjoying it in the least.]

That's -not- what I meant to say. Just...somehow came out of me.



What are you supposed to be? Iguana? Those things on the Discovery channel that got poison tongues or somethin'?


Those things are tight, yo.

[thepoweroflove]

Ah, no, I'm a dragon, actually. At least I'm pretty sure I am.

[He's starting to doubt at little himself though since everyone thinks he's a lizard.]

[sacredcoinflip]

...



Yeah, and I'm a Manticore.


...I think that's what they're called. Heard it on SyFy.

[thepoweroflove]

Come on, if you can wake up as a cat I don't know why I can't be a dragon.

[... Granted one's a fictional creature, but still.]

[nvcr]

[Oh hey there kitty! A purple unicorn canters over to you. He is not tall or short. He is not thin or fat. He has eyes, and a nose, and a mane, and four legs. You get the sense that if he were a man, he would be an equally unremarkable human being, with... you know. Skin. And teeth. And a face.

He speaks.

And oh, his voice is a rich, velvety baritone like the finest blanket embroidered with stars.]

It's...a little hard to explain. Mostly, we're all just the subject of unconsenting shapeshifting. Some of us are ponies. Actually, most of us are ponies, but I see that whatever possibly-malicious forces were behind our transformation had something different in mind for you.

I suspect dark magic.

[sacredcoinflip]

[Damn sir, just read him a story and call yourself Dr. Suess, because that was practically poetry. Although out of all the things he's staring at, it's mainly the whole 'unicorn' thing going on here.]

...

[A look to the right, then to the left.]

Okay?

[GREAT RESPONSE, JESSE.]

Uh...lemme just get this out of the way. Am I dreaming?

this was actually a dream I once had

[nvcr]

I don't think so. I mean, this isn't like any of the government-mandated shared dreams we had back home, nor is it like any regular dreams I've had, such as being taxidermied and placed on a couch in a stranger's home as thousands of spiders crawl out of my silent, horror-stricken mouth.

oh my god

[sacredcoinflip]

...Yo.


Think you seriously need to get some of that cranial-action checked out.

[But he extends a paw, attempting to reach out to see if Cecil even exists. Who knows, if this wasn't a dream, maybe he's just high. A really...weird high.

But as soon as paw makes contact with unicorn leg, he flops over. Someone's not used to four legs just yet.]

[nvcr]

[Yeah, probably, but that's not what's on Cecil's mind right now.]

That's going to be a problem here. As far as I know, this town's only therapist is an emotion-feeding insect hybrid of some sort, serving a queen whose intentions we don't yet understand in full.

So.

He might have an ulterior motive.

[robotfightclub]

[Oh come on, way to make her and the others look bad. Cats are masters at balance, it's practically programmed into their brains. At least try to look like walking isn't an issue.

...Never mind that she stumbled her first day, too.]

Well, gee, maybe you should ask a little louder.

[Also this cat is blue.]

[sacredcoinflip]

[His ears swivel in her direction, turning his head to get a look at the source of the voice.


And here's his first response.]

Cats aren't blue.


[Thank you Captain Obvious.]

And you know what? I just might.

[robotfightclub]

[That's really all she needs to hear to know that this is a lost cause. Good luck, new cat.]

Well I can see this was a waste of my time. I'll go be blue somewhere else where it won't offend you.

[All the sarcasm. All of it.

And like an expert, she twirls on her cute little cat feet and continues on her merry way.]

[sacredcoinflip]

...

[Okay, maybe he jumped the gun with this one.]

Hey, hey!! Wait up!!

[His walking isn't nearly as graceful, but he's tailing you.]